Scheduling life will never be the same once your man is in the fire or police department. This is a consistently heard lesson across blogs and unsolicited advice. Fathers miss recitals, school plays, teacher meetings, championship games, and other important family gatherings because of the job.
Many of the posts on Wife Behind the Fire are great launching pads from which I can develop and convey my opinion and experiences. There was a lot of bitterness and frustration with the lifestyle of a firefighter girlfriend, and that kept me quiet and unable to communicate for a seemingly never-ending period of time. Now that the academy is over, and I have my own experiences, as the partner of one of New York’s Bravest, I want to develop a voice as a woman behind the fire.
The truth of the matter is that I don’t know how to communicate the struggles of any life situation until I have emerged, gloriously and beautifully, on the other side. The last ten weeks is no exception, but I am going to try.
We are now two full days into Week Four and communication is still an issue. We are both adjusting. Always adjusting.
Oddly enough, The Man and I had our first “academy era” fight during the week that he had “Mask Appreciation Day.”
In his corporate-America days, The Man would come home from work around 6pm, Mondays through Fridays. I work from home three days a week, so three out of five days, it was just us for at least six hours.
I have always wanted to be a more efficient person. Though I try and organize, I always felt that it was hard to get to that ideal flow because living as a single unit, having only a handful of family and social events a month to handle. When The Man was working in an office, dinners were discussed via text during the day, lunches were purchased, and coffee was made once we were up, around 8am.
I’ve scoured the internet for blogs and information that supports the wives, girlfriends, and partners of firefighters. There aren’t that many that address one of my obstacles, in terms of their firefighter being in the academy: communication changes.