All the great bloggers experience trolling, right? Well, I just had the pleasure of having a run-in with a sexist, racist man on Instagram!
My profile on the social media platform is public so I can post my blog posts and connect with new people. It’s been great so far, but sometimes it’s fun, weird, past-reviving, and downright creepy who can like your posts and follow your account.
This is Not My First Racist Rodeo
The majority of racism that I have encountered in my life has been from Asian men. It was an Asian boy in sixth grade who called me a “chink” before I even knew what that word meant. Then my junior and senior years of high school were plagued by another Asian boy who ran around calling me a “gook” anytime he saw me in the hallway. That one wasn’t even trying, since that slur isn’t relevant to my actual heritage. Then, a handful of years ago, I had been called out on Facebook by a “friend” of mine for white worshiping. The common thread between that Facebook incident and this encounter is that to these men, I was another Asian victim of Western media and culture who hates my Asian roots and believed that a white man would better my status in society.
Here he is! My First Troll!
This individual is half European (white) and half Asian, and his prevailing area of focus is that Asian-Male/White-Female relationships are the way of the future, while White-Male/Asian-Female relationships begin in power struggles and self-hatred and end in murder, crime, and suicide. In short, Asian men are going for white women because Asian women don’t cut it, and white men go for Asian women as a last resort. Either way, Asian women are the losers.
When he began following me, I sent him a message asking why he is willing to follow me, an Asian (half) woman who has started a family with a white man, especially when he thinks the way that he does. To be honest, I am really curious about the seemingly blind hate of some individuals, and I wanted to see if he would/could explain his beliefs.
I ultimately had to block this individual since the conversation— as one could expect— turned very negative and I didn’t want him having access to my photos, especially those of my child. Because I did this, however, as per Instagram’s practices, the conversation was deleted.
Fortunately, his profile is public, so I revisited his page to grab examples of his racist and sexist rants (which happen with great frequency). In doing so, I discovered that he has a script that he used in both his posts and conversation with me.
I want to share what I learned about Asian racism and sexism, as well as the nature and beauty of internet trolls.
A Troll By Any Other Name
His username was the first thing that bothered me: ProudEurasian. Ok. When you read this, it sounds innocuous. I exemplifies satisfaction, gratitude, and obviously pride of heritage. I am a very proud Chinese-Puerto Rican American. Having pride in one’s culture is understandable and encouraged, especially living in some areas of the United States.
He confuses pride with arrogance and racism.
Romantic Frustration and White Worship
It seems as though much of this individual’s public issues stem from an experienced frustration with the dating scene in American and most Western cultures, for that matter. The media portrayal of Asian men and the societal treatment and acceptance of Asian women over their male peers, makes this an understandable perspective. The Westernized treatment of Asian men is not a favorable one.
Maybe this sways the minds of some women. But it’s outrageous to say, in 2017, that the “vast majority” of Asian women who pick non-Asian partners are being brainwashed the this portrayal.
Stop Assuming Asian Women Can’t Think for Themselves.
He states that because of “the imbalance of racial perceptions by Caucasians, Asian men need to fight an uphill battle to get their “prized” white bride off their golden pedestal.”
Maybe I’m wrong, but this sounds a lot like white worship, to me.
How can you follow someone on social media and accuse them of white worship, when you view your own wife as being above you, a prize, and one that is on a pedestal constructed of a precious metal?
If he had stopped at being frustrated with the truth that Asian men need to be above average to compete in the dating scene, I would understand. Though I cannot speak truth to that, if that is his experience, fine. I believe you. But to jump to the idea that it makes your white bride more of a prize than an Asian woman, is simply offensive.
There’s also the added bonus that he questioned if my relationship was genuine and not based on power and control. Firstly, if anyone knows me, there’s no “controlling” me in any sense of the word. But more importantly, I have never once felt as though I had “won” The Man. He is a great human and an even better father, but never once did I see him as being above me, more of a prize than I, or one that needed to be taken from a pedestal. He is my equal.
Plus, I’m not the one with an Instagram account dedicated to defending my biracial background, and relationships that are composed similarly. To me, that makes a relationship look more like a show than one based in genuine human emotion.
My conclusion: that Asian boy is more of a white worshiper than this Asian woman.
Under No Circumstances is it Okay to Involve an Infant in Your Personal Problem
He questioned the quality of my son versus what he would produce with a white woman, or I’m assuming the quality of himself. You can say that I am a white worshiper. You can say that I hate my Chinese father. You can say I am embarrassed by my killer Chinese calves, my almond-shaped eyes, and my grandparents who weren’t the best at speaking English. I don’t care about any of that, but do not ever let my son’s name or character come out of your hateful mouth.
His words that he sent to me and with which he has captioned a post: “It’s basically all to do with how masculine the father is, how much of a fighter he is. As creepy as some Asian dudes are for constantly talking about their girlfriend’s/ wives/ children whiteness, these guys are out there getting what they wants, constantly focusing on self-improvement. What happens when he has a child? That child gets a killer education and mindset; I won’t be surprised if this dude’s son becomes famous.”
Yes, I’m going to breeze over the absolutely absurd concept of his lack of surprise if the “dude’s son becomes famous.”
Sir, you know nothing about the fighter that my child’s father is. He is a firefighter in the city of New York. You really want to question his masculinity?
In the conversation, he told me that my son, my heart of hearts, will grow up confused, unable to relate to his own father, and more likely to become a deviant and criminal because of his “white beta male” father and “self-hating” mother. This is ultimately when I drew the line in the conversation.
The funniest part, in my opinion, is that he called my father’s masculinity into question. He acknowledges that my father is obviously good enough to go and get himself someone above just a Chinese woman, but there has to be some sort of self-hatred for his daughter to go out and get a white male partner instead of an “alpha male, god-tier” Asian man. For those of you who don’t know my dedicated father, he’s a retired LEO, worked Vice and for the FBI; helped run one of the most successful family-owned businesses in Chinatown… no problem with masculinity or cultural connection there.
Extremely Disturbing Attitude toward WM/AF
Here is a quick run down of his beliefs, which were summed up in our conversation and can be seen on his profile:
- Chinese girls are low status.
- China girls are flat-chested.
- There is most often white worship in WM/AF relationships.
- Asian females who love white men:
- Hate their Asian features
- Were raised by self-hating Asian mothers
- Taught to shame their heritage.
- Are mail-order brides
- Are slaves, who give birth to non-white slaves
- Are sexpats
- Are so desperate for whiteness that they have destroyed their sexual value
- A “typical day in the life of WM/AF” includes murdering your whole family
- WMAF couples mainly consist of two unattractive individuals
- White men are beta males who never set foot in a gym or club, who settle for Asian women as a last resort.
- White men cannot keep a white woman for a variety of reasons.
- “You’ve seen them before at the restaurant or airport, guy always walking 5 feet infront, scowling in shame”
The majority of those who follow his account and comment on his posts are Asian, and share the same racist and sexist point of view, calling Asian women a slew of lovely names that includes, but is not limited to:
- The usual suspects: racist, Bitch, c–t, whore, sellout.
- Then there are the fun ones like: coinsucker and white c-ck sucker.
I’m Tired of the Racism and Sexism Toward Asian Women
Men need to stop talking about women and our choices as though we are not in the room!
Whether you are an Asian man criticizing his female peers; or a white, black, or any other color man looking for a woman to control; stop making assumptions about any woman regardless of color.
We are not your punching bags. We are not your scapegoats. We are not your pawns. We are not your possessions. We do not fit your molds. And as time progresses, so do we. We were once in a subservient position around the globe, but not anymore. Act accordingly.
Not every woman is making assumptions about your financial background, the size of your penis, how often you work out, how cool you are in a club, or how you can upgrade our status. Do these things happen? Yes, but do not act as though Asian women are the only ones.
It’s disgusting to me how quickly some Asian men are to explain away the exact actions for which they bash Asian women, ready to get themselves ahead by stepping on the broken backs of their mothers, grandmothers, and sisters.
To the men who called me names to my face, and the ones hiding behind their computer screens, I say this to you: Your power is fleeting. Asian women are a force to reckon with, just as are all women. We are making conscious decisions about our lives, our families, and our futures.
While internet trolls are an unfortunate side of being on social media, those whom are being victimized are no longer becoming victims. There is a strength to be found when someone attacks you and comes after your love and family.
Living well is the best revenge, and I believe that those of us who face these deplorable individuals can look at our choices with a little more love and pride, knowing that we have that which the trolls are chasing.
I love myself for the obstacles that I’ve overcome, the peaks that I have reached, and relationships I have nurtured.
I love my Asian features, and how they have melted together with the features of my Puerto Rican side so freaking well.
I love my Asian heritage and what it has done for the this country, and what it has contributed to the the history of one of the greatest cities in the world.
I love my Chinese father who has worked alongside my Puerto Rican mother to create an incredible life for my sisters and I.
I love my white fiance, and the family he and I have constructed, the contributions he’s made to my life, and the promise of a beautiful future together.
And above all, I love love love my Asian, Hispanic, Hungarian, German, and Italian baby boy with his blue almond-shaped eyes and blond hair, because he is the embodiment of love and all that is good in my life.
I have been made stronger by this experience. And now I’m left with one last question for all of the hate-filled trolls out there: what it is that you have that you actually love?