The journey of wedding planning is beautiful at times. But one cannot overlook the absolutely horrific trends that have come up in recent times. From “mooning” in photographs rampant sexism and extreme attempts to rebel against the norm.

There was this list that I came across on social media that was intriguing and I wanted to scope it out. It’s a 102-click article, so I found synopsis, compliments of Reddit to save you all time and headache.

I went through the list, and some of them are just ridiculous and from the ranting mind of a cynical human, but there are plenty with which I completely agree. Ever since the engagement, I’ve been asked what I will have and when at my wedding. While it has been hard for me to tell anyone what I will have, I have a pretty set list of things that will not be appearing at my wedding.

masonjarMason Jars

I do believe the jar can still be used for good. You know, like holding your Q-Tips, hair ties, spices, dried herbs, and makeup brushes. But, the phase should be over, especially at weddings. The idea of drinking out of them at a formal event has never been appealing to me, and I think there are newer ways to hand out favors.

Alternative: Traditional Stemware and Gift Boxes

Maybe this is boring, but I like wine and beer glasses, champagne flutes, and the like. As far as party favor containers I’ll stick to some sort of gift box.

donutsDonuts

There was a phase of my life where I thought the traditional large, clunky wedding cake was outdated and a bit much, but I cannot imagine myself now doing anything except cake. Cupcakes are cute– deviating only slightly from tradition– but donuts again seem out of place to me at a formal event.

Alternative: A Non-Traditional Cake

Not everyone likes the cake flavors that The Man and I enjoy. While he has no idea about this desire of mine, I would like to discuss with him the possibility of doing smaller cakes of various flavors as opposed to one large cake of a flavor of our choosing. This way, the guests who don’t like chocolate might indulge in a fruit-flavored or vanilla cake.

weddingsneakersCustom His & Hers Sneakers

Namely the embroidered Chuck Taylors. With wedding planning in my near future, I find myself wanting more of an easier traditional route without throwing the traditions to the wind. I get the desire for comfortable footwear after all of the standing and dancing, but there are other footwear options than the overplayed “Bride” and “Groom” Chuck damn Taylors.

Alternative: Flats!

I don’t know if The Man intends of having an alternative pair of shoes for the party, but I think I would like to keep a pair of flats (still formal) on hand in case my heels get to be a little too much.

sexism“Last Chance to Run” Signs and Other “Humorous” Symbols of Sexism

If he was doubting his desire to marry me, he should have a discussion with me like a man. We don’t need a small child carrying a sign or having a sign nailed to a tree letting him know that he can still cut and run. That’s just inappropriate.

Alternative: Simple Affirmations of Love

Though this would probably not take on the physical form of a sign, my wedding day will convey nothing but messages of confirmed, decided, and deliberate love between two adults.

burlapweddingRough and Rustic Fabrics

I get the trend of barnyard and boho-chic weddings, but why resort to a rough piece of cloth that is more function than fashion and is really commonly used to contain the likes of heavy goods such as potatoes and coffee? I don’t want potato sacks near my guests.

Alternative: Cotton

If a bride decides to deviate from the light, delicate fabrics like organza, silk, and satin, that’s her choice! But, there are still ways to be casual or at least tone down the formality, while remaining feminine and whimsical.

candybarCandy/Confetti/Ice Cream Sundae Buffets and Bars

This is just not my thing. They look cute and pretty, but there is so much waste and I’d rather have my guests get their dessert and get back out on the dance floor with me or generally socialize.

Alternative: Menu Options

Offer an alternative to a traditional cake that might include ice cream sundaes, profiteroles, and other sweets with which your guests can conclude their meal.

centerpieceOversized Centerpieces

Whether it’s all flowers or gigantic water towers, I’ve gone to too many weddings where guests can converse with those directly to their left and right, but making any contact with someone across the table is impossible because of an oversized centerpiece.

Alternative: Lanterns, small candles, and short floral arrangements

Literally, anything that is shorter than 12-inches would suffice.

weddingheartPhotos of Hands Making Hearts

I’m sick of this in social situations, let alone weddings. I will not pose like this, nor will anyone in my wedding party. It’s cheesy.

Alternative: Any other pose

There are myriad poses ranging from the traditional and formal to super casual that would be better than hand hearts.

liveinthemomentChalkboard Everything

This one is ok in moderation– have a chalkboard with the drink specials on it, or as the table numbers. But I won’t give in to the trend of having chalkboards to let my guests know they can sit on either side of the isle, or which way to find the bathrooms, or letting them know that I paid someone to write Mumford & Sons lyrics for my big day.

countrycoupleBarnyard/Boho Chic Anything

That’s not me, that’s not The Man, and that won’t be our wedding. Neither of us were born on a farm, nor do we own a farm. We are currently living in Queens, and when you’re a city dweller looking to get hitched in a barn, it seems contrived.

Alternative: An outdoor fete

Break away from the urban setting and opt for something airy and light by taking the ceremony and/or party outdoors or to a large space with picture windows to let in a lot of light. Especially in and around New York City, there are plenty of venues to accommodate some wedding couple’s need to break away from the City hustle and bustle

cocktailSexist Custom Cocktails

I’ve been to weddings, and seen this trend online where the bride’s custom cocktail often has champagne, a sugary additive, maybe something to make it pink in color, and a maraschino cherry; while the groom’s cocktail is served in a highball, whiskey-based, and brutally strong. If this is honestly who the couple is in cocktail form, fine. However, after seeing this trend play out in the same manner time after time, I’m beginning to think there’s a trend to make the bride’s drink overtly girly and the groom’s drink overtly masculine.

Alternative: A Single Custom Cocktail

I knew a woman who did a single custom cocktail with her husband that was a reminder of where they had first met. The majority of the day is focused on the union of two people, why not have a cocktail that celebrates that unity, as well?

macaronsMacarons

Hear me out on this one! It is not that I think macarons are garbage or an overdone trend, but it is a trend that people don’t fully understand and appreciate. They see a macaron and think fancy, yummy treat. But the truth of the matter is– and I’ve seen this at birthdays, holidays, and weddings alike– there are certain climates in which this treat will just never work. Especially the climate of New York, if you don’t make and eat these little guys in a fairly tight timeframe, the macaron will never maintain the intended texture and be enjoyed properly.

Alternative: Menu Options

As described above for the alternative to donuts, there are a plethora of dessert options to satisfy the sweetest of teeth during a wedding party. Pick something that will stand up through the climate and timeframe of your event.

beerkoozieKoozies.

Are you handing out cans of beer at your wedding? What is this? Unless you’re tailgating or at a barbecue, there’s no need for a coozie.

Alternative: Hold a glass with your hand.

And beer typically coming in cans or bottles should be delivered to guests in a glass.

danceChoreography

If The Man wants to take dance lessons before the big day, fine. But we are a very casual and natural couple and suddenly having a choreographed first dance or mass dance just will never be us.

Alternative: Accept your Talents

I appreciate so much more, the casual display of the unmanicured wedding couple on the dance floor. The choreography is really a show, and while that is part of the whole painted and veiled wedding, the honest ability (or lack thereof) to dance is heartwarming in my eyes.

The original article can be found here: http://offbeat.topix.com/slideshow/17677