Let’s talk about sleep.

I was noticing that my sleep has been disrupted on a daily basis over the course of the last week. I thought maybe I was anxious about my job search, cleaning, money, issues with a friend, or any of my countless daily concerns. But I was reading today that the sudden removal of alcohol can result in disrupted sleep.

Not that I was a heavy daily drinker, but going to bed three or more nights a week after having at least one drink (a glass of wine with dinner, to a few drinks on a Saturday night), made alcohol-free nights more peaceful and restful. It became almost like a sleep aid.

Sans alcohol, my brain is definitely a hotspot for activity. All day, every day, I want to do so much more. I am more determined, and mentally active– sometimes to a distracting degree– and it doesn’t seem to really turn off at night. Going to bed is hard. I have started taking melatonin again to just fall asleep. During the first few nights, I would actually wake up with almost restless-leg-like symptoms. I couldn’t sit still and felt the urge to move around. That has somewhat subsided, but I can’t sleep deeply. The slightest disruptions wake me up. From bar-goers being loud on the sidewalk 2-4am, to Lily drinking her water, or The Man rolling around, I’m awake at the drop of a hat.

And when I do sleep, my dreams are more vivid and I can remember more conversations, actions, and visuals, for better or worse. Some dreams have been fine, passing with little significance. Others are terrible and conversations hurtful.

Hopefully, as I get used to this new activity, I will be able to get the energy out before bed, and sleep will come easier and more restful.